newtownwife:

some things to never ever forget about addiction:

1. addiction does not discriminate!!! addiction does not discriminate!!!!! people assume all addicts are either middle aged men or people experiencing homelessness/poor people in general (and poor POC). this is such a dangerous mindset, because a) it’s racist and sexist as fuck, and b) it stops people who aren’t in these groups from recognising their addiction problems. if you have it in you to become an addict, it could happen 40 years after you start using, or 2 years after you start using. there’s no age requirement for addiction. i became an alcoholic when i was 17, and i started drinking at 15. addiction doesn’t give a shit about who you are. and if you make jokes about xannied up housewives or teenagers who drink at school, then you’re fucking part of the problem.
   
2. people can abuse anything: doesn’t matter if its sex or coke, if your brain becomes dependent on it, it’s addiction, and all addiction is traumatising. 
3. sober LGBT spaces are really, really, really hard to find: i am a 20 year old lesbian, and if i had a dollar for every time i’ve felt like an outcast in an AA meeting, i’d be fucking rich. this ties into point one - AA is a predominantly straight, male space, partly because women and young people don’t feel like they’re “enough of an addict” to fit in there. on the flip side, lgbt+ public spaces are usually closely associated with substances - gay bars are a prime example. i consider tumblr to be a sober LGBT space, respect it if you can.
4. substance abuse is nothing to be ashamed of: if you have it in you, then that’s that. there’s nothing you can do to prevent addiction. it’s like any other lifetime medical problem that requires ongoing management.
5. trauma doesn’t always cause addiction: but it does help. trauma can strip parts of yourself from you, and addicts try to fill that space with their drug of choice (doc) - but this doesn’t describe everyone. some people become addicts without trauma, and their experiences are just as valid. addiction doesn’t give a shit.
6. psychotherapy is almost useless for people living in active addiction: this was so hard for me to understand when i was taught this in rehab (mainly bc i wasted thousands of dollars on therapy lol), but it’s true. when you’re in active addiction, your hierarchy of needs literally only contains your doc - like shelter, good relationships, food etc. all go out the window - which is why untreated addiction often leads to homelessness. when you’re in this state, your doc is in control of everything, even your behaviour, and so counselling might give you a place to vent, but it won’t do anything about the underlying issues, and trying to do behavioural therapy when you’re using is a waste of money, because your substance will always, always come first. 
7. sobriety ≠ recovery: this is linked to the above point - when you get sober, you’re going to start finding out who you really are, and let me tell you first hand, you’re also going to find out exactly why you thought using was a good idea in the first place. once you step out of addiction you have to (HAVE TO!!!!!!!) start treating the underlying issues, or else you will slip back into dependency in five minutes. no bullshit.
8. addicts aren’t bad people: we need help, not to be shamed for a problem we can’t control. 

in summary,

ADDICTION DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHO YOU ARE. ADDICTION DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT. ADDICTION WILL FUCK YOU OVER THE SECOND YOU OPEN THE DOOR FOR IT.

ADDICTS ARE NOT BAD PEOPLE. ADDICTS ARE NOT BAD PEOPLE. WE HAVE DONE BAD THINGS BUT WE ARE NOT BAD PEOPLE. 

domenic:

legolokiismighty:

louisamayanniecat:

silentthevoice:

Petition to change “he looked at her like she was the sun” to “he looked at her like she was the moon” and any other variation bc I look at the moon in wonder and love and amazement while I’ve only ever just squinted angrily at the sun

He looked at her like she was the sun, in that he never looked at her except in frustration. He basked in her warmth, he complained when she was gone, but he never looked. On days she was muted, he complained. On days she was stronger, he hid from her. He never looked at her until she was leaving, and in the beauty of the sunset he wondered how he’d never seen her before.

dude

how dare you all disparage Anna Karenina like this

bronzyglow:

he accidentally said that he loved me last night. I could tell he was shocked after he realized what he had said so I was afraid to say it back even though I do. I have. he was telling me on the drive home that there’s just something about me, that he’d do anything for me and how nobody has ever made him feel this way. that he likes me a lot and he always will. in the driveway I brought it up because I wanted to hear him say it again. “so you like me a lot huh?” and the immediate response was “I love you a lot”. I smiled at him, it was a beautiful little freudian slip.